Are you on the same page?

The answer to this question is frequently the meter indicating that two people are in agreement on something or are having a similar life experience. It speaks to being united or compatible. John and I were sitting at dinner last night talking with a friend about our journey- especially in regards to the past few years of walking through pain, asking hard questions, and leaning into healing. John was sharing his version of our story, and as he finished, she turned to me and said, “I’d love to hear what was going on with you during this time and how you processed it all?” First, how beautiful of her to acknowledge that though John and I share a story full of similar circumstances, our journey through the story is as unique as each of us. So I began sharing and came to the point in our story were there was some tension because of the different ways we were processing grief and questioning issues of faith.

Most of the time in the past few years I have felt that there was not a human soul who understood my journey the way John did; no one could possibly be as close to me, know me better, or be able to share my grief experience the way that he could. Yet there have also been times where we sat together, sharing our hearts, and I felt scared that we were processing things so DIFFERENTLY. I wanted him so badly to be my safe place, and I wanted to be his, however there was this tension from time to time- this feeling of not being on the same page.

But as I continued sharing, I leaned in and said, “We might not have always been on the same page, but the page was big enough for both of us.”

How does that happen? How do we make a page big enough to exist together in love and healing without letting differences bring discord. Something happened in this past year- a shift, some growing, and an opening and deepening of our hearts for each other. Healing creates more space for love. Deep inner personal work allows the heart to open wider for others. A broken heart can be a beautiful place for growth. Rumi says it like this, “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.” Somehow we are finding the things that help heal us, both as individuals and as partners, and a garden of compassion is beginning to bloom.

The same page…

Does it matter?

Can you love deeply and heal together when you have the same “story” but a different journey within that story?

Yes! We simply quit worrying about being on the same page and we chose to create a page that was big enough for both of us.

What if we all just allowed our hearts to expand and our page to grow wider and deeper, able to hold the collective experiences of those we love without judgement or expectation? What if I honored your journey and you honored mine, and we let go of feeling like our path, our process, and our faith had to be fully aligned for love and acceptance? What would it feel like to step onto a bigger page in this story called life? A page that truly allowed each of us to be present with the story of another in a place of compassion. What if we could offer sanctuary?

“Let me be your sanctuary
Let me be your safe place to fall
I can take away your worries
The refuge from it all

Oh, this time
We have together
Is our shelter from the rain
I will share the weight you carry
Let me be your sanctuary”

-“Sanctuary” from the show Nashville


And so here we are on this great big page called life- loving each other, growing into deeper understanding of each other’s hearts, and continuing to create an enormous amount of space for healing through compassion and acceptance of each other.